taking a break.

posted on: Thursday, June 13, 2013

I sometimes catch myself wishing for the downtime of Winter. Not necessarily for the cabin fever moments, but more for the laziness of late mornings nestled into the deepest crevices of the couch reading a book with hot chocolate in hand as the kids play on the floor. You know what I mean?  It seems so  crazy to think that way especially with the complete transformation Montana takes on during the Summer months, but our days, well they're packed. Jam packed in fact. Park outings, play groups, farmers markets, family visits, vacations, household projects and the list goes on and on. Maybe it's the fear that Summertime will just slip through my grasp if I take any downtime so I take each morsel of the warmth and make the beginning and end of each day full to the brim. 

Still, the constant movement has been taxing, wearing, maybe even a bit bone-tiring? Yes, tiring is the right word.  I'm fairly certain a majority of the issues arise from Addy still waking up in the night. I'm now tinkering on the edge of comatose-type state. And I'm sure I've mentioned it before but after deciding to take on the duty as the Event Chair for our local Relay For Life the last month or so has turned into a tailspin of meetings, phone calls, planning, and adjusting. John and I have joked that it has now turned into a full-time, non-paying job. Don't get me wrong, I function well during stressful situations and I get this uncanny rush of pushing myself and meeting deadlines, so it has been more rewarding than anything. My kids, however, are less inclined to this new pace of life. And with the days dwindling down until Relay the final stretch, single digits, mad dash--or whatever you may call it is quickly approaching. Which I thought would mean bag-blowing and high-levels of hyperventilating, but I'm not. Which in itself is scary because I should be. 

So I'll be the first to admit that I am stretching myself thin--especially is the mom/wife department. I'm sure its evident in my home; laundry still in baskets, packaged meals for dinner, and a little more Netflix than necessary for a three-year-old.  So I'm taking a break from blogging/blog reading/Internet perusing, basically the whole she-bang of time guzzling computer entertainment. The break won't be for long, only for a few weeks, just long enough for me to get my bearings straights, get through Relay, and  give some one-on-one attention to this little family of mine. My hope is that when I come back I will be knee-deep in new projects, fun posts, and hopefully be less sporadic about writing. 

Anyway, enjoy the last few weeks of June. They're fleeting at best.

See you soon.

6 years.

posted on: Monday, June 10, 2013

On Saturday, John and I celebrated our 6th anniversary and you'd have thought that after all this time we would actually know how to take pictures with one another. Affirmative "NO" on that. We've really nailed the whole awkward family photo thing. I mean. AWKWARD. 

I'm going to gush about John for a minute. I wish you had a John, not mine but one like him. On Saturday we were both super busy. He was heading up the health fair for the hospital and I was recovering from two full days of events in preparation for Relay For Life so by the time Saturday came along we were both spent. In the afternoon we attended a couples seminar about improving relationships (it was a work thing). I can't make this stuff up, that's really what we did on a 80* Saturday afternoon. Anyway, the seminar turned out to be fun. After dating, kids, moving, job changes, and the world's longest road trips through Wyoming (if you've ever driven through Wyoming you'll understand) I thought I knew everything about John, I mean the guy is an open book.  Surprisingly enough I left the seminar feeling as if there were so many things that I didn't know about my husband. Luckily, I also walked away a bit more relieved that our differences may actually be the very threads that hold us together. sigh (I told you it would be gushy).

Well, this guy has really has gotten better with age (kind of like cheese or wine...not sure he would appreciate the comparison)--he's reliable and caring and uses his actions more than words to show his true feelings, those were some of the qualities that use to drive me a bit batty at times, but now I see that the young me may have just fallen for those very things.

Happy Anniversary Johnny b. I think I will keep you around for another six years if you'll let me. I love you.

It's been 538 Days

posted on: Monday, June 3, 2013

We announced our second baby in December of 2011 and at 20 weeks I decided to start documenting each week of my pregnancy. Guys, my nose. Why didn't you tell me?! I lived in denial thinking it wasn't that big, but holy cow, that sucker could have had its own zip code. If there was ever a time I would want a picture of me to not be forever stuck in the abyss of the internet my pregnancy photos would take the cake. Even the post where I show off my belly in one of those crazy wraps would have been better.

Anyway, when Addison turned one I decided to read back through all the love letters I wrote to her, you know, just to find out how crazy I actually was during my pregnancy. Geeze Louise. Let me publicly apologize. I honestly didn't realize that I had a serious case of the Debbie Downers in a few of the posts. In a split second I thought about deleting those posts, I mean who really wants to read that depressing stuff anyway. We live in a pretty messed up  world and there's no need for an emotionally-drained Mom adding to the mix, right? But after playing the mind game of do-I-want-my-daughter-to-know-I'm-somewhat-unstable-or-not I finally decided against it thinking at some point she would have to know that pregnancy is hard, raising babies is even harder, AND that giving birth to her turned me into a raging Allison Reynolds for a brief period of time (watch The Breakfast Club and you'll understand). 

Interestingly enough each letter has provided a small glimpse into my life at that time (even the bad has shed some insight into the rocky road back to sanity). Gosh there were some good ones, the melt-my-heart kind of good type even. I can't believe I am even admitting this, but a few of the letters made me miss that deep connection we shared during pregnancy. And let's all take note that this is not nor in anyway a feeble attempt of me admitting to having baby fever.  I'll give Brecken to you for an hour, he's the type of birth control that makes people decided to "wait."


Seriously though, these letters. Well, they're kind of like prized possessions to me and I hope they are to her someday. I now find myself continuallylo oking back on them wondering if I am living up to the expectations I have so solemnly promised to in each of them. Am I loving her? Listening to her? Helping her? Teaching her? Sharing my passions with her? Am I tempering my craziness so as to not pass it on to her (I can wish)? She may only be one but I hope that I am making lasting impressions, mostly of love and kindness, that will impact that type of woman she becomes someday.

Geeze she melts me. 

Bebe's Birthday

posted on: Sunday, June 2, 2013

I am really beginning to understand the whole concept of "in-a-blink-of-an-eye." Addy turned one a few weeks ago and it just seems like time went into warp speed. Maybe it was the newness of parenthood with the first, but it just seemed as like Brecken's milestones lagged on forever. Now I catch myself saying "that was quick" "where did my baby go" "I didn't think Brecken learned that as quickly." And as if it's a cruel joke the newborn stage with the second one seemed to be gone before we could enjoy it. I mean, shouldn't the second child's milestones be enjoyed more as veteran parents? You would think so.

So as if to commemorate the rapidness of her life we celebrated in style with a birthday party that lasted nearly a week (much to John's dismay, of course). Do we need an excuse to party? I think not.  But this little lady deserved it. Calm and collected with a soft spot for her brother she really has brought so much completeness to our little family. And as if she knew her place in our family before she arrived she has already developed a knack for sharing, which is not Brecken's strong suit. But she's nailed it like a champ. 

Happy Birthday (again)  bebe! 

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